God, can you clue me in?

 Each morning I jot down the Verse of the Day (VotD) from both the BibleGateway app and the YouVersion app. Some days, the verses are remarkably similar in their message; other days, the verses are very different.

Today is the first day in the few months since I started trying to do this consistently that both apps have had the same verse.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." - Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT)

Normally, in my sinful arrogance, I would quickly pass over this verse, as it is a verse that I consider to be cliched in our contemporary Christian world of "bumper sticker scripture" and "gossip as prayer request". Had only one of my Bible apps utilized this verse for its VotD, I would have written it in my journal and moved on quickly.

The double whammy of this verse in both apps caused me to stop, look beyond myself and really think about what God is saying to me this morning.

I have been having a rough couple of days as I process a conversation I had regarding the queer community and Christian faith and discipleship. I told Brenda yesterday that I feel like something has been opened in me for this community. My heart hurts for this group.

Books I am reading and the podcast to which I am listening come from people whom I believe are genuine in their love for God and understanding of Christian doctrine; yet, it is different from the doctrine with which I was raised and under which I currently sit as a member of my church.

My thoughts are a jumble as I try to think through this mess of emotion and belief. I feel hopeless and I think that's why I need to pay attention to the verse in Jeremiah, more today than before. 

What I am going through has not taken God by surprise. He has numbered my days and knows the work I will do. He knows my thoughts before they work their way through my mind and the words that I will write before I type them.

I feel the most appropriate response is for me to try to recommit myself to listening for his voice.